Thursday 13 September 2012

Cakes!



Did the title get your attention?... well it certainly got my work's and choir's. I took a whole stack of baked products in to both and they were devoured!

So what was the reason for this baking frenzy? To boost my fundraising for Maggie’s Cancer Care Centres and Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research of course. So thank you to the staff at the BBC Academy and members of the Cecil Sharp House Choir who donated an impressive £210!

Monday 10 September 2012

Lymphatic Cancer Awareness Week

Before I heard that I may have Lymphoma last year I didn’t even realise that there were other blood cancers than Leukaemia. But then I also had no idea that there were different types of Chemo, so getting diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkin Lymphoma in July was an education. Thankfully I’m now in remission.
Just as we say goodbye to London 2012 another important date in the calendar arrived. Today saw the start of Lymphatic Cancer Awareness Week.

Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research say that "around 17,000 people are diagnosed with lymphoma in the UK every year - that's one every 30 minutes"! They are far more eloquent than me about what lymphoma is and what the symptoms are, so feel free to check their website out: http://leukaemialymphomaresearch.org.uk/research/lymphatic-cancer-awareness-week 

Oh, and while you're there you might recognise a familiar face:
Yes, that's me!
Rather fittingly I'll be finishing this week cycling 52 miles in the London Bikeathon for Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research. This is just half of a big personal challenge as I will also be walking 20 mile's for Maggie's Centres less than a week later (more news of that to come in future posts). All this is less than a year after I finished chemo so please sponsor me:

Where Now?

Some of you may have realised that I've not posted for quite a while. This year has been quite a tough one for me! I thought that getting rid of hodgy would be a positive turning point. What I didn't appreciate was that when my adrenaline and fighting spirit had gone and when everyone thinks you're on the road to recovery... damn, you think you are, that's when the going gets tough!

I finished treatment at the end of November and was told I could return to work. I couldn't wait! Work were amazing. They told me to ease into things and take it at my own pace, but I was impatient. I wanted to get on with my old life. My confidence was also at rock bottom. I’d put on lots of weight and felt very unattractive, I was incredibly forgetful with ‘chemo brain’, I was also very overemotional and responded badly to even a small amount of stress. This, as you can imagine wasn’t a great formula for a happy working life. I did persevere, but it was tough. I also didn’t want people to see me struggling so there was only the odd occasion that I admitted that I wasn’t coping. In retrospect I went back to work too early.

For several months I put on a brave face. This extended to my social life, although I did find myself saying no to more social events than usual. I felt like all I could really do was moan so I saw a lot less of friends. My poor boyfriend Dan was one of the few that saw me disintegrate. We hadn’t been seeing each other for long. I apologised to him for being a defective and leaky (crying lots) girlfriend. Thankfully he was an amazing support.

The turning point was when I joined the Maggie’s ‘Where Now’ course. Maggie’s Cancer Care Centre’s offer one to one sessions with skilled cancer support specialists for anyone affected. They even offer nutrition and benefits advice to people dealing with the practical elements of a diagnosis. ‘Where Now’ lasts for 6 weeks and starts with a gentle exercise session. They give nutritional, emotional, and medical management advice often around a big kitchen table over a light and very tasty nutritional meal. Mary and Elaine who led the London sessions were wonderful, so kind, patient and generous. Things generally finished with some relaxation exercises but what meant the most to me was meeting others in the same boat. I found out I wasn’t going mad!

So, Where Now? Well, thankfully, I have turned the corner. I have pretty much said goodbye to the fatigue which I felt would never go. I am generally happier, although cancer has left me with a certain shadow that has not entirely lifted. After being fairly blasé about my health previously I am also slightly hypochondriac at times! Any little ailment makes me nervous. But hope is on the horizon. I am ready for new and more positive adventures. Although, I feel very blessed to have worked at the BBC and have loved my 11 years with auntie I am taking voluntary redundancy. It probably sounds crazy during such uncertain times but I plan to draw a line under the difficult times and go travelling. I’ve always wanted to do it but now there is also another motivation. I hope that I might have more positive adventures to talk about when I return… other than the C word! Then hello freelance world…I’m on my way. Life just got very exciting… in a positive way!

Ps. There are still videos towards the end of my treatment to put up, and I will. I just needed a bit of space from Hodgy. Thank you for your patience. x

Thursday 26 January 2012

Happy 2012! More vlogs to come... I promise!

Well a very happy 2012 to you all! I have to say that I shed a happy tear or two at midnight. This year has been one of the most dramatic and fascinating years of my life. I got diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma back in April. I then received four months of ABVD chemotherapy to treat it. I am happy to say that I have now had my third and final PET/ CT scan and it is the second to show that I am in remission.

You'll notice that it's been a while since I last posted. My energy levels went way down, I spent a lot of time in bed and I have to say that I didn't find the last bit of my treatment that easy. As everyone said, I'd been dealing with things so well. I guess there had to be a bit of give at some point. Ironically, when I got my all clear my happiness and buoyancy levels crashed. I actually wanted to hibernate. I think I'd been so full of adrenalin and coping mechanisms that hearing I was in remission gave me a chance to step back and stop fighting. I still had a couple of months of chemo left and I'd put on a lot of weight which left me feeling pretty low.

I obviously got through that time with the fantastic help of my family, friends and my wonderful boyfriend Dan. Singing in my choir also kept me going... it really has been a tonic. I even managed to organise a traditional folk music singaround at The Windmill pub in London. The room was donated free, My friend Sam gave me a hand and my friends and the folk community supported me and helped me raise £372 for Leukaemia and Lymphoma Research.

So what now?
Well, I'm back working as a Production Trainer at The BBC Academy. I went back on the 4th January and I am very thankful that work have been so understanding and supportive. I am trying to ease in gently, as they have suggested.  But despite my energy levels and my morale remaining a bit low I am raring to just get back to normal.

And how about the blog?
Well, I have a couple of vlogs still to edit and post. One is an honest and frank look at Picc lines... from the day I went to get my line inserted, my initial trouble getting used to it, my allergies to the dressing and ways to look after it. I filmed my other vlog on the day before my last treatment. I am just about to film another very soon and I hope to continue updating things as time goes on. Remission is not the end of my story!

I hope this message finds you all well, and if not, then I hope that you are finding ways to cope. A big thank you to all of you for reading this and please forgive me for taking so long to write.

Wishing you a very happy, healthy 2012!
Kat. x